I soon found a like-minded group of people in a message board called Greasespot Café. The name came from Martindale's frequent rant that people who left The Way would be "a grease spot by midnight". One of the first things I noticed from the stories that people posted was that things that I thought were minor problems, or outliers, were in fact common practice throughout The Way. Things that I had brushed off as one-time personality quirks were in fact official policy. From people's testimonies I learned that Martindale's "affair" was not unusual, but that sexual harassment and abuse had been going on for years, for decades, especially among the top echelons. I participated in discussions about various Way doctrines and saw how shaky they were. At one point I put together a ten page review of Martindale's Way of Abundance and Power (WayAP) class and sent it to a member of the Board of Trustees who I felt was open to what I had to say. The review was an in-depth examination of WayAP, pointing out the numerous inconsistencies with previous Way teaching and with the Bible itself. This Trustee called me at home one night and told me that he was going to have our regional coordinator, who would be in Lincoln to teach the WayAP class live, address my concerns. Which he did, unconvincingly and superficially hitting some of the high points of my ten pages as we took a walk around the block, closing with "So, we've covered everything". This was the point where I knew that I needed to leave The Way.
Looking at things in a 25 year rear-view mirror, it seems like such a minor thing to become the straw that broke the camel's back, especially after decades of red flags. But, to use another metaphor, it was that last pebble that started the avalanche. The Way had always promoted itself as a ministry that encouraged its members to study the Bible themselves and not rely on churches to interpret it for them. I had done precisely that but was fobbed off with a pat on the head and an admonition to trust what I was being taught. Neither the Trustee, nor the Region Coordinator had made a serious effort to address my concerns, or to defend their position biblically. The only reason that I had stayed with The Way so long, despite numerous red flags, was that I believed that Biblical Truth was being taught there. I no longer could accept that this was the case.
Yet I was still unwilling to make a clean break, as I knew that my ex-wife did not see things my way. It wasn't so much that I wanted to remain an active member of The Way, but that I thought it was the only way to salvage my marriage. The decision was made for me in August 2001. I had been posting on GreaseSpot Café (GSC) pretty regularly. The Way had loyal members reading through GSC, trying to identify "innies" who were posting there. They figured out who I was and confronted me about it. Although I never admitted to my role, I was informed by the Region Coordinator on the phone several days later that I was no longer welcome at any Way functions. I was not sure if they were putting me on spiritual probation again, or whether I was being marked and avoided, but as the phone call wound down, the he attempted to give me some instructions. I half heartedly (and maybe sarcastically) responded "sure". He replied that my response wasn't very convincing. I informed him that he had just abdicated any authority that he had over me, so it was immaterial to me what he was convinced of, and hung up.
I was finally out of The Way for good.
Unfortunately, this ended my unrealistic dream that I could somehow salvage my marriage. Things had not gotten any better when my probation was up in 1999, Pat was still convinced that I was entertaining devil spirits and frequently "confronted" me on various issues, large and small, usually having the children sit in as witnesses, eventually preventing me from interacting with the children even though I still lived there. But being ejected from The Way gave her the excuse to finally sever ties with me and in early November 2001 I was asked to leave.
Rebuilding relationships with my children is another long, but ultimately successful story. I stayed involved with Greasespot Café for many years afterward, contributing to the record of cultishness that it embodied. I made many friends at the Greasespot Café and met over 30 participants in person over the years. One never sets out to join a cult, but people end up in them every day. They're not always religious based, but many are. It's been 25 years since I left The Way. My involvement shaped who I am, good and bad. It made me more aware of what cults are, and it made me much less likely to get involved in shady enterprises and much more likely to do my homework and not get sucked into conspiracy theories.
The Way was part of my life from the ages of 19 to 43. It's still part of my memories. I hope my experiences can help others steer clear of cults of all kinds.
This ends my personal involvement with The Way International. I will be posting some generic articles about cults in the coming days.






