Gay Marriage

I suppose I could say that if you're opposed to gay marriage then the simple solution is to not participate in one. Don't become gay, and if you do, don't get married! Somehow the support in some quarters for legalization of marriage between same-gendered couples has been interpreted as an attack against "traditional" marriage. Before I go on I should disclose that I have personally officiated at a marriage between two people of the same gender. I should also disclose that my record, and my family's, regrading "traditional" marriage has been mixed. While I'm extremely happy in my current marriage, my first marriage ended in divorce. Three out of my four siblings have either been divorced before their current marriage, or their spouses have. One out of three of my children/step-children who have been married is now divorced. Heterosexual unions have had a mixed track record in my family.

I guess the question to ask is what negative effect on society will accrue if gay people are allowed to marry? (each other - they can already participate in sham marriages to members of the opposite sex) One objection that I heard on NPR the other day addressed the issue as one of freedom - not for the gay couples, but for those who are against homosexuality. When the New York legislature legalized gay marriage last year, the law contained a provision that no clergy would be forced to perform a gay marriage if they opposed it. I don't know how they operate in the Empire State, but in all four of the states in which I have officiated at wedding ceremonies, no one required or forced me to participate. In fact, I regularly perform weddings where a denominational minister has declined to perform a wedding due to religious beliefs or church guidelines. The other issue was where owners of bed & breakfast inns did not want to have a gay couple cohabiting under their roof. I sympathized with this until I thought of a time when mixed-race couples were frowned upon and landlords and innkeepers desired the right to refuse service to them. Om further thought, I'm not so understanding of others' bigotry.

While I suspect that President Obama's avowed support of gay marriage (while averring that it is a states' issue) was politically motivated to secure moderate and left-leaning independents, I applaud his stance and hope to live to see the day when any couple can benefit from legal recognition of their union, no matter what their gender.