The saying can apply to many things, but it often refers to homosexuality, although it can also refer to many other things, including practicing a religion other than Christianity (or no religion at all). The one making the statement usually means that while hating the "sin" (behavior prohibited or proscribed in one's holy book) they hold out hope that the person will cease and desist from practicing their "sin" and come around to "The God Side". So how long do we give the "sinners" to change their ways? Do they continue to be loved for the rest of their lives regardless of their behavior? What if they refuse to even consider changing their behavior and reject the premise that their behavior is sinful? My contention is that this alleged "love" is 100% contingent on the perceived possibility of change.
To be fair, if someone holds an opinion, rightly or wrongly, that a behavior is harmful, it is perfectly consistent that they attempt to discourage those who engage in that behavior from continuing in it. In fact in is reasonable, rational and logical to try to influence a person to change in these circumstances.
But just because an action is logical or consistent does not make the action right. An action or an opinion is logical when it flows naturally from a premise. The premise in this case is that the bible states that homosexuality is a sin; that premise is further based on an earlier premise that "God" wrote or inspired the bible and that said "God" is infallible, perfect, omniscient and all-powerful. The opinion that there is an infallible, perfect, omniscient and all-powerful being is far from universal or and certainly not objectively demonstrable; even assuming such a being exists, it is far from universally accepted that this being wrote or commissioned the bible or that the bible accurately describes this being's attributes - and even among people who believe the first of these two premises, there is much honest disagreement over what this book means.
So, now to the practical application:
For those of us who do not share the opinions held by those who base their ethics and morality upon a certain interpretation of the bible, the whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" thing is judgmental, short-sighted and yes - hateful. While what you may mean is that you love us so much that you want us to enjoy the great bliss that comes from following the rules set down by those claiming to speak for your god, what we hear is that you think that our choices in life, our opinions, our selves are inferior to yours in any meaningful way, that the only way that we can truly live is to completely change who we are and that while you look down your noses at us, we should give you credit for good intentions.
"Love the Christian, hate Christianity" - doesn't sound so good, does it?
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