So, You Want to Join a Cult - Part XXXIII - The Nineties (prelude)

A lot was going into the nineties. My first wife, Pat, and I completed our family — Steven, our youngest of six children, was born in December 1990; another child became deathly ill due to mold and bacteria after our rental home was flooded; there were continual changes and challenges at my job in circulation at the Omaha World-Herald newspaper; we started home schooling; and we were adapting to the changes that re-involvement in The Way was causing. 

In late 1990, when we got back involved with The Way, Pat and I had been married for nine years. We had developed a routine that had nothing to do with organized religion, including The Way, although we still believed broadly in the doctrines taught by The Way. It wasn't really obvious back then, but Pat and I had two divergent world views. Pat would have fit right in with today's right-wing Christian Nationalist types. She had a down-in-the-bone conviction that there was a literal spiritual battle going on in the world, literally believed that the Devil and his minions were actively working against Christians. As we had isolated ourselves from, not only The Way, but from any type of organized religion, she didn't have the vocabulary to articulate those beliefs. I, on the other hand, wasn't as literal-minded in my beliefs. I still had some residual thoughts about devil spirits, prayer, etc., but didn't really make it part of my daily life. The other characteristic in which we were opposites was that I was usually willing to compromise, or reach a consensus, whether it was in my marriage, work life, or personal relationships, while Pat was more of a black-and-white thinker — no grey areas whatsoever. Most of the time this didn't present any problems — areas that she was uncompromising on, were often areas here I could go either way; when it did present problems, I acquiesced to her wishes in order to maintain peace. This difference in personality would become important as our nineties in The Way progressed. 

The main divergence in opinion came about when our two oldest were in fifth and third grades respectively. Ben, our oldest, got bullied a lot at school. Chris, two years younger, didn't have that problem, but was habitually behind in his schoolwork and had continual struggles with reading and understanding. Pat thought that the solution to these problems would be home schooling. 

I'm not saying that home schooling is always a good choice, or always a bad choice. I certainly don't accept the criticism that home schoolers are socially awkward and have no friends, or never leave the house. My kids were involved in sports (and in fact were outstanding in track), 4-H and several of them achieved the rank of Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do. The younger children were involved in Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. But home schooling, if done right, takes a lot of time and effort. Initially, Pat put in that time and effort. She had gone to college to be a teacher, although she did not graduate. She was organized and for the first several years did put in the time and effort. My role was more peripheral. I had a full time job that took me out of town several days a week, so Pat did most of the work. Maybe the fact that the bulk of the work of home schooling would fall upon Pat made it easy for me to give in. I also didn't have any strong arguments against home schooling. 

Although the initial impetus for considering home schooling was Chris' need for more one-on-one attention, and Ben's being bullied, the rationale changed to more of an emphasis on spiritual warfare. The local home schooling support group was dominated by evangelical-fundamentalist Christians, who believed that the public school system was the Devil's playground and that public school students were being actively taught to turn against God. Pat absorbed this mindset; it meshed perfectly with The Way's position on the so-called spiritual battle, even though The Way did not encourage home schooling. 

As we transitioned into Way life, we (at least one of us) was primed to see everything as a God vs. The Devil struggle, yet not at all prepared for the increasing level of control that being involved in The Way necessitated. Yet we both had retained a belief that Wierwille, the original leader of The Way, had hit upon an interpretation and application of The Bible that was, not only correct, but not to be found anywhere outside The Way. Problems that we had encountered in The Way we chalked up to people, leaders who had strayed from the path set by Wierwille, not to The Way itself. 

In some ways we were primed for the increased cultishness of The Way in the nineties, in others we were ticking bombs of rebellion, waiting for our moment to explode.

Start from the beginning: Part I

Go to: Part XXXIV