Grammar: i.e & e.g.

There's a scene in the move Get Shorty where Chili Palmer is being threatened by Ray "Bones" Barboni and his bodyguard. They get into a discussion about whether Ray has correctly used the term "e.g.", Chili correctly suggesting that "i.e." is correct.

Both of these terms come from Latin. "i.e." from id est, which means "that is"; "e.g." from exempli gratia, "for the sake of example". "e.g." is used whenever you are providing an example: "States that grow a lot of corn e.g. Nebraska, tend to be rather flat". "i.e." is used as a clarification: "States that grow a lot of corn tend to have little variation in elevation, i.e. they're flat.".

One thing that is true of both of these abbreviations is that you don't say "i.e." or "e.g.", you say "that is" or "for example" while writing "i.e." or "e.g.".

Prayer...Again

1. Do I care if you pray? - No
2. Do I care if you pray for me? - No, although it depends somewhat on what you are praying to happen to me
3. Do I think anything bad will happen because you are praying - No
4. Do I think prayer is effective - Also NO

And I'm defining prayer specifically as someone asking the deity of their choice to perform some action on their behalf. I realize that there are other definitions of prayer, but I am not addressing those in this post. I also realize that some people maintain that prayer for something is not "true" prayer. Okay, you're welcome to hold that opinion, but millions believe that it is. 

I'm also defining "effective" for the purpose of this post, as "getting the results that were asked for in all particulars". Notice that I am not using the term "answered prayer", since so many people, when confronted with not getting the results that they asked for, trot out "the prayer was answered, the answer was no", which I believe is a cop-out. I'm also including "in all particulars". Because if you're dealing with an omnipotent entity, why would you get the job that you prayed for but not the pay rate that you needed? 

The reason that I do not believe that prayer (as defined above) is effective is that, when observed objectively, the positive results do not appear any more often than one would expect without prayer. True, anyone can point to specific incidents where the result equaled the prayer, perhaps even as I specified, in all particulars, but how often does this happen? What percentage? How often is the result disastrously different than what was prayed for? No one really knows, because people who believe in the effectiveness of prayer don't keep track, while those who don't, don't pray! As a skeptic however, I can come up with numerous examples of people who I know prayed for certain outcomes and unequivocally did not receive what they prayed for, or received part of what they prayed for. It's not effective if it doesn't work all the time, so even a handful of negative examples should indicate its non-effectiveness. 

Confirmation bias is something that we all are subject to. It's the tendency to remember, or even simply notice, the things that confirm our preconceived beliefs, while ignoring or explaining away those things that are at odds with those beliefs. We see this in politics all the time, we give credence to the news stories that bolster our position; everything else is fake news. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in religious beliefs. People pray for years for certain outcomes and come up empty, yet they still believe. 

In the beginning of this post I listed a few things about prayer that I didn't have a problem with, however there are a few things where do have a problem. One is the self-righteous crowing from certain quarters when they survive a natural disaster, a plane crash, a terrorist attack, or even a medical condition. It's kind of humble-bragging, look at me, I survived because my deity loves me so much, as if everyone else in town who died in the floods, or lost their homes in the tornado, or died a gruesome and painful death was unloved or somehow skipped praying. Either praying is ineffective or your deity is an asshole. 

The other issue I have is when people pray for me to change some part of my life, such as my religion (or lack of it). My beliefs are as valid as yours and as worthy of respect, don't pray for me to change into what you think will get me into Heaven or deliver me from Hell, doing so shows an utter lack of respect for who I am. Stop it!

So other than that last thing, pray away, I won't be offended, I won't judge you, and unless you ask me what I think about it, I won't even talk to you about it. In fact, if you didn't want to hear my thoughts you probably wouldn't have gotten this far, or even clicked on the link!

Can You Verify...?

You're at the bank, or calling the cell phone provider to make some changes, the person on the other end says "Can you verify your ID number?" (or SSN, or any other piece of identifying information) - I have taken to responding with "Yes I can", then pausing. Sometimes adding, "Go ahead, tell me what you have there so I can verify it". Of course this confuses them. What is really happening is that they are verifying that you are who you say you are. They should probably say something like, please give me your ID number so that I can verify your identity. I am not verifying anything. I am giving out identifying information so that they can verify me!

The last time I posted something like this on Facebook I received a lot of responses purporting to educate me as to why a bank or online service company would need to verify who I am. Yes, thank you,  I know why they need this information, I am glad that banks don't freely give out my account information to just anyone. But that is not the point that I am making. (I am freshly amazed almost every day at how people answer questions other than the one that you asked, or respond to scenarios other than the one that you described). The point that I am making is that the request is inaccurately stated, not that the request for information is illicit!

I doubt that anyone will change their ways due to my irritation at the question, but for the time being I will be feigning ignorance at what I am being asked.

Fate

What is fate? One definition is

the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.

This definition, the acceptance of which is called "fatalism" suggests that we are on a path from which we cannot deviate. "Destiny" is a similar concept. This concept exists in tension with freewill. Freewill is the belief that we decide and are fully responsible for everything in our lives. There is considerable overlap in what people believe about these concepts - someone who believes in freewill might say that meeting their spouse was "destiny", a religious person might say that it was "God's Will". An agnostic might say everything is a result of choices that we made; some people claim that everything, good or bad, is a result of our mindset. It is my observation that it's not really one or the other, but a combination.

Most people believe in freewill, but aren't our decisions constrained, hemmed in by previous choices? For example, my employment options were limited by my decision, in 1980, to not continue my college education but to participate in a "missionary" program for a year. At the end of that year I chose to get married to a woman with two small children, a choice that would make going back to college financially difficult. Any broad horizons that may have been open to me when I was 19 became straitened by those decisions. This phenomena can be compared to a funnel, broad at the entry, narrowing as the choices pile up. As life goes on the exit end of the funnel becomes increasingly narrow and the meaningful choices that can be made decreases in this scenario.

This would be bad enough if we all started off equal, as the Declaration of Independence suggests. But we don't. People who have wealthy parents start off with a much bigger funnel than someone born to poor parents, or to drug addicts, or criminals. Whites start off with bigger funnels than blacks; men start off with bigger funnels than women. Even with those relative differences, the size of the funnel can vary. Did that poor, black single mother sacrifice everything to send her daughter to medical school? Did the rich man, who could have given his son every opportunity, instead allow him to squander his advantages. The funnels go back generations.

But once we start on our own funnel, and start making our own choices, are we doomed to a pre-ordained end? This is where the funnel analogy breaks down. A different analogy might be that of a car on a highway. You might have decided early on that you were going to drive from Atlanta to Boston, but early in your trip you headed West instead of North, in fact, now your in Mexico. It would have been a lot easier to turn around when you were in Huntsville Alabama and head North. The car didn't have so many miles on it, but now you're in Baja California and you decide that you're going to turn it all around and get yourself up to Boston. It's not going to be easy - the car needs new tires and an oil change - and it's going to take a long time to get up to Boston - but it's possible.

Of course life is more complicated than a funnel or a car trip. There are very real obstacles if you have made enough counterproductive choices, if you started life without any advantages, if your bad choices resulted in incarceration of damage to your body or mind. Often other people's choices impact your own options.

Sometimes life is more like the funnel than the car trip, even if you've got a good map.

To me fate is the limits that the combination of your initial circumstances, your own choices and just plain random occurrences, have placed on your options. But very seldom are there zero options, very seldom is there no way forward. You, due to a variety of variables, are in a world of shit; what are you going to do about it? The solution may not be simple, the solution may be time-consuming, the solution may be painful, but it's another choice. 

There's no divine or supernatural force pushing you to a predetermined destination.  That's an excuse to accept the unacceptable. Find the solution.

Happy Holidays

Two years ago while delivering UPS packages I said "Merry Christmas" to customers whom I encountered; until I ran into a "War on Christmas" guy. He thanked me for saying "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" and started on a rant about he says "Merry Christmas" to stick it to all those atheists and liberals who want to ruin Christmas. A few years before that I was treated to a similar "thank you" and accompanying rant by someone who was appreciative that my store's ads said "Christmas Savings" (they actually ran ads that said both "Christmas" and "Holiday Savings"). Every year I read Facebook posts from people who proudly proclaim that they're saying "Merry Christmas" whether anyone likes it or not, sometimes suggesting that "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" are somehow subversive. And now we have a President who has vowed that we'll all be saying "Merry Christmas" as if it's been outlawed or something. (To be fair I had a pagan acquaintance of mine some years ago tell me that he would not respect me or any other pagan who said 'Merry Christmas", so it's not all one-sided, and be fair again, I greeted the Governor, a right-wing hyper-partisan if there ever was one, last year with a hearty "Happy Holidays", and he returned the salutation with a "Happy Holidays" of his own)

No one is trying to take the Christ out of Christmas, there is no War on Christmas.

We all should be free to use whatever greeting that pleases us without being "corrected". We also shouldn't use our choice of greeting as a weapon against those who employ different greetings, or observe different holidays.

If you run into me and say "Merry Christmas", I won't be offended, even though I'm not a Christian, and I don't expect you to be offended if I say "Happy Holidays". Or even "Snappy Saturnalia".

Shopping No-Nos (Don't Do These Things)

Some of the items on this list were annoyances when I worked in retail, some were born as I stood in line, all of them might get you killed some day. (Not all are holiday related)

• Expressing sympathy that a cashier or waiter has to work on a holiday is not cool. They either already know that it sucks to be there, in which case you are just rubbing salt in the wound, or they didn't have anything going on anyway and are happy to be getting time and a half for doing the same work as usual.
• Complaining that all the "good" turkeys are gone when you are shopping the night before Thanksgiving; all the Snickers are sold out Halloween afternoon; or basically that any seasonal item has sold out before the actual holiday. Most seasonally themed products won't sell once the holiday has come and gone. Retailers try to anticipate sales, but they aren't fortune-tellers. Buy your shit early.
• Pointing out that an item is cheaper at Walmart. Fuck you then, shop at Walmart. 
• Trying to make "deals" on items that are already on sale. Or any item for that matter. 
• Asking for custom cuts of meat. Do you really require your roast to be that exact weight? (I once had a guy like this; he couldn't ever buy meat from the case, it had to be custom cut. Once the meat cutters pre-cut his meat to his usual specifications, wrapped it and put it in the case; he still wanted them to custom cut it). 
• Be prepared to pay when all your items have been rung up. They will always ask you for money! Don't start digging for your wallet, card or checkbook after the order has been totaled. If you're writing a check, you know what store you're in and the date, surely you can fill that part out ahead of time.
• When paying in cash, don't throw your money down on the moving belt. The cashier is probably holding out her hand to accept payment, it's rude not to hand it to her - she doesn't have Ebola. Also, the moving belt can possibly whisk your money under the register, never to be found again. 
• Complaining about lines during a busy time. Hey knucklehead, everyone had the same idea as you did. They can only move so fast, and besides, someone is digging for their wallet up ahead of you. 
• And don't ever expect special treatment because you say you know the owner. The employees know him too and don't like him. 

Grammar: Commas

Several years ago I worked with someone who, though otherwise quite intelligent, had only a tenuous grasp of the rules of English grammar. Someone had told her that people didn't use commas enough, so she started inserted commas everywhere in her writing. The fist sentence in this post might look like this:
Several years ago, I worked with someone, who, though otherwise, quite intelligent, had only a tenuous grasp, of the rules of English grammar. 
While it's probably true that the comma is underutilized, it's also possible to overutilize it.

The basic mistake that many people make with respect to commas is that you don't use them every time there would be a pause if what you are writing is being spoken aloud. In short, a comma is used to separate parts of a sentence from one another. Here are a few ways that a comma should be used correctly:

• Before a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or so, yet) that links two independent clauses (an independent clause has both a subject and a verb and can stand on its own as a sentence). For example "I went running, and I saw a duck". If the sentence is changed to "I went running and saw a duck" no comma is needed because the second half is not an independent clause. 
• After a dependent clause that starts a sentence (a dependent clause has a subject and a verb, but cannot stand on its own), as in the sentence "When I went running, I saw a duck". If the dependent clause is at the end of the sentence a comma is not needed, but can be added for emphasis. 
• Use commas to offset explanatory, but unnecessary, information in the middle of a sentence. "When I went running I saw a mallard, a type of duck". "A type of duck is explanatory, but the sentence can stand without it.
• To set off items in a series. There is some disagreement about whether a comma follows the last item in the series (called an Oxford Comma) is necessary, however, more often than not it clarifies the situation. "When I went running I saw some ducks, Charlie, and Bill." This obviously tells us that I saw some ducks, but also saw Charlie and Bill. "When I went running I saw some ducks, Charlie and Bill." This version of sentence could mean that the ducks that I saw were named Charlie & Bill. 

The following link gives nine more examples of the proper use of commas. 

http://www.businessinsider.com/a-guide-to-proper-comma-use-2013-9

And this link simplifies it all into three rules.

http://www.writewithjean.com/usage-and-grammar/commas-made-simple/

That's a lot of rules. I try to narrow it down to:

1. Use a comma in a list of items
2. Use a comma to separate different ideas or thoughts within a sentence. 
3. Don't use it to indicate a pause or a breath.