Sunday, November 10, 2013

Bespoke and Other Irritating Things

There are three things that have been irritating me lately: people who mindlessly re-post things on Facebook that are not true, people who post controversial things on Facebook and then either refuse to discuss their post or get offended that someone has a differing opinion, and third, the word "bespoke".

Let's start with the third: bespoke. There was a time when, if you wanted a suit (or anything else) made to your personal specifications, you'd say it was "custom", or "custom made" or made even "personalized" or "tailor made". "Bespoke" just sounds pretentious.

Now as to the other two, perhaps I shouldn't be too concerned about what shows up on Facebook and spend less time there, but the modes of interaction on Facebook are not somehow separate from "real" life, but are just one aspect of it.

One common aphorism that I disagree with is that you should not talk about religion or politics. I think that the reason most people believe this is that most people are too immature or opinionated to be able to have a respectful conversation with people with whom they disagree. This has always been true to a certain extent, but the instant "connectedness" of the internet has made it easier to insult those that are standing right in front of us. Why is it bad etiquette to have a discussion about comparative religious beliefs, to ask someone the reason for their beliefs? Why is it a a social faux pas to express an opinion about the current administration? Of course if your version of discussion and expression includes demonizing the other side of the political spectrum and belittling those who believe differently as heretics or mindless or "insert your favorite insult here" it would be socially awkward to have that discussion at Sally's birthday party. But surely two (or more) intelligent people can compare the pros and cons of any political issue without calling each other extreme and insulting names I've seen it done, I've done it myself. It's not that tough...if you respect the other person.

But in a weird kind of mirror universe way, people who would never utter a hateful, bigoted, opinionated word in the company of those who hold differing opinions think it's alright to post hateful, bigoted, opinionated words on Facebook where they are in virtual company with those who hold differing opinions. And then claim that they will not discuss, not debate, sometimes claiming that it's their page and telling others to back off. This is not isolated to some fringe group of Facebook users, but seems to be the prevailing culture. People want to trumpet their opinions, but don't want to be challenged, so what happens is people talk past each other. One person posts a meme about how squirrels are a menace to a free society, but those who love squirrels don't dare argue, but post their own memes in support of squirrels. No one listens to the other person, no one considers that there might be truth in the other's position, shots are just traded across the other's bows.

Add to this insularity is the propensity of many to just re-post something that backs up a pre-existing opinion, whether true or not. There is so much information available on the internet that it's pretty easy to determine whether something is factual or not, or at least to find out if there are differing points of view on a subject. One could spend all of one's time just debunking the crap that's easy to discredit, let alone the things that take a little time to research. And I'm not just talking about snopes.com, which some people mistakenly believe is bankrolled by some shadowy liberal cabal, but just some basic fact checking. It's frustrating.

This could all be fixed if I could just create a bespoke world.