Customer Service Part Four: Who Gives a Shit About Your Opinion?

Okay, you're a customer, you're spending money, you're indirectly providing a living to the retail staff where you're spending your money, you have the right to expect good service. But what precisely does that mean? Sure, not being treated rudely is on the list, but what are the specifics of proper interaction? At my former place of business it was required to ask the customer if they found everything alright, to inquire after their well-being (how are you today?), smile, make eye contact and demonstrate that you cared about them as a customer by making small talk. Oh yeah, and ask if they had their loyalty card early in the transaction and thank them at the end of the order. Forget for a minute how hard this is if it's a small order all the while trying to quickly and accurately ring up an order; different people want and expect different things.

Not long ago one of the courtesy clerks, those employees tasked with bagging and carrying out groceries, told a customer "have a nice day". The customer berated the employee and the manager, insisting that "have a nice day" was not a proper way to end the transaction, but "thank you" was appropriate. Not only appropriate, but the only way to end the order. Really? Who says? Why was one more appropriate than the other. Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but who gives a shit what your opinion is? The next guy might have a different opinion. There is no engraved stone tablets brought down from the mountain inscribed with proper responses. I mentioned "Hand Basket Guy" in my last post. Another thing that Hand Basket Guy did was raise a ruckus if the cashier neglected to ask him if he found everything that he was looking for. Sure, the store wanted the cashiers to ask this question, but Hand Basket Guy acted like not asking this was an offense against the hosts of heaven and all that is good and pure. He typically would express his dissatisfaction by yelling at the checker. While Hand Basket Guy may have thought that asking this question was good customer service, who gives a shit what Hand Basket Guy thinks? Another common irritation is when a retail employee responds to a customer request with "no problem". Okay, I can see why this might be annoying and a cause to wonder why it might even potentially be a problem, but who gives a shit? It's an idiom, idioms don't necessarily have a literal meaning. It means, basically, that your request will be granted happily and without delay. Lighten up!

You're a customer. You provide money, the retailer provides a product or a service, sometimes both. It's not a master-slave or lord and servant relationship. How are retail employees to know what your specific expectations are? What your imagination tells you are the exact right words to use? And why are your niggling little quirks that standard on which others must act?