Some years back, when I was a Christian, people would throw a verse around from Philippians about forgetting that which is behind, often times in order to avoid taking responsibility for their hurtful or irresponsible actions. Someone would do something, something that was a recurring negative theme in their lives, once again screwing over their friends and family, but you couldn't bring up that patter because that would be bringing up the past...which you were supposed to forget. Well I can't forget. I may be able to forgive, although I confess there are times when I'm unwilling to even do that, but I remember when people screw me over, again and again. I don't ignore the patterns. Now I'll gladly move on and let bygones be bygones if you stop doing that thing that you did, but if you start doing it again I'm not going to act like it's a new violation, a one-time trespass, I'm going to see it as what you do. Yesterday is not some airtight container, hermetically sealed off from today, the echoes and ripples of what you did yesterday leak into today. I've got people in my life who have hurt me in the same fashion over and over again. Even though I still hold out hope that they'll stop acting in this way, their past actions have not been forgotten and my perception of those actions molds my relationship to them. On the other hand, I have other people in my life who had at one time treated me horribly, yet some time ago stopped acting like that and never, not even once, slipped back into those habits with me.
I don't forget their past either, but view it as evidence that people do change, and never, ever, bring that past up...since they no longer do that thing that they did.
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